If Summer 2017 Shows Were Freestyle Rappers

Except the freestyle rappers diss themselves instead of dissing their opponent or hyping themselves up. Emphasizing the negative is a lot more fun. Obviously a lot of the lyrics are exaggerated since being even-handed in rap goes against the inherent conventions of the music genre. In other words, go big or go home.

Sorry if your eyes bleed from my lack of rapping skills. I get a bit lazy towards the end and the short “raps” turn into even shorter couplets, oops.

Action Heroine Cheer Fruits

Our nickname is skittles because of our hair colors
And because of how intimately close we are with each other,
So taste the rainbow! We’re so gay we’re cheerful!
Too bad no one watches us – we’re such lonely heroes!

Ballroom e Youkoso

Welcome to the patriarchy
Where females exist to serve males;
Although things improve possibly
And we do manage tone well,
Lewd camera angles and forced stripping ain’t swell
And feminists are already calling us a fail.

Battle Girl High School

We’re so uninspired that watching us is a dreadful errand;
Most people dropped us like babies with irresponsible parents.

Centaur no Nayami

I’m more preachy than the pastor at a Sunday School sermon
My crude social commentary makes watching me a burden
People only endure me to witness monster girl fashion
Because otherwise I only cause worry and bring no satisfaction.


I didn’t even get picked up by ufotable
So action scenes look blurry and plain ol’ terrible;
Seven heroes weren’t enough so we decided to double down
Without caring that actual characterization won’t be found.


If climaxing is considered a ten
Then gambling should be an eleven.
Look here if you want to see crazed women –
They’re all shrewd devils who fell from heaven.

Knight’s & Magic

If you know coding, then you are actually golden
Just call Ernie God because he’s basically omnipotent.
His cocky attitude is a big deterrent for some
But at least I embrace the fact I’m wish-fulfilling fun.

Made in Abyss

I am about as kid-friendly as Oyasumi PunPun.
Beautiful world-building in a hellish setting makes for some fun, hon.

Netsuzou Trap

I am a hot mess and all the characters need mental help.
As far as yuri romances go, I am considered bottom shelf.

New Game!!

I’m building on last year’s season to depict strong characterization!
Some haters actually claim that I’m not an accurate depiction
Of the work environment, but they’re all thinking too hard –
I’m supposed to be easy moe fun and I succeed in this regard.

Princess Principal

Both my OP and ED are laced with lyrical nonsense
And the girls are actually terrible at being spies;
But steampunk is cool despite making no sense
Plus the girls are cute and have cavonite so everything flies.

Tsurezure Children

I scratch that romcom itch while being as deep as PB&J
But my naturalistic dialogue makes everything okay.

24 thoughts on “If Summer 2017 Shows Were Freestyle Rappers

  1. “I am a hot mess and all the characters need mental help.
    As far as yuri romances go, I am bottom shelf.”
    This is great!!!

    Wow, senpai this was amazing! *still laughing*

    Liked by 1 person

I-it's not like I want you to leave a comment or anything. B-baka.

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