Highschool boy delivers green-haired teenager via chest

A baby was born on the ballroom dance floor last Saturday. However, the expectant mother was not actually a mother and the baby wasn’t actually a baby.

15 year-old male Tatara Fujita was with child but wasn’t aware of it until moments before he had to deliver. “I just noticed I had a gap in my chest like I was a hollow from Bleach. It was a very strange sensation,” remarked Tatara, a few hours after the delivery happened upon being questioned.

Observers say that the hole somehow became an oversized zit, which then split open to reveal 15 year-old female Hiyama Chinatsu. Strangely enough, Hiyama’s hair was green instead of her typical red. She was also dancing with Tatara right before the delivery happened.

With nothing but rumors to go by, experts are saying that the stunt ultimately means nothing and only served to grab attention. “Tatara has replied that he felt like he grew four legs before or that he once opened this door with Chinatsu in his head,” reported one source. “Fine. That sort of makes sense. He’s leading and another pair of legs is following. The opening of the door represents team effort. We get it.

“But this — this is more like pretentious symbolism in an attempt to paint ballroom dancing as being some majestic, mysterious activity. Either that or the studio really wanted to make sure the viewers understood that Tatara’s true partner is Chinatsu. I’m not too sure if this was anything short of bizarre, to be honest. This case is simply unprecedented.”

Upon being asked what happened afterwards, Tatara only smiled.

“I just followed my heart and treasured this moment with Chi-chan,” he replied. “She may not understand me and I may not understand her, but that just makes us value one another that much more.”