You have Auri to thank for this one.
Well, sort of. Her original suggestion was “Top 5 Times Manga/ Anime love got [Remy] into weird conversations/ situations.” I sort of changed the prompt slightly so I can fulfill your request. Sorry about that, Auri. Hopefully you forgive me.
At any rate, Auri is a talented wordsmith who isn’t afraid to speak her mind, a community leader, and a sweet girl overall despite her skater girl image. I really liked her post in which she explains at length what she would do if she were to run into her idol, G-Dragon.
So here are 5 situations in which I found myself disenchanted with these common anime romance tropes since they led me to less than favourable situations or outcomes. I can’t really say these are my Top 5 since my entries for my real Top 5 list are too explicit to talk about in public, but this is what I have, alright?
She Says, “Can We Talk After Class?”
Frame of reference: 13 years old / 2nd year in middle school
Wow, what was that about? What does she want? Why does she want to talk to me later?
…Maybe she’s gonna confess to me. That must be it. It’s gotta be. How exciting! I always thought she was attractive. Be still, my beating heart.
Oh, she had heard from a friend that I liked her. I probably shouldn’t have told him.
Now she’s asking for reasons why I like her. Uhhh, all I can do is stammer like an idiot and walk with both hand behind my head like I was doing crunches because I sort of followed Naruto back then and I remembered that the visible orange ninja walked like that when he tried to play it cool. I’m realizing now that I didn’t really have any good reasons to like her as she walks away after a brief conversation. It was just a crush in the end.
Oh, she went on a field trip (to the Renaissance Fair) with the rest of her class and proceeded to laugh at and mock me while telling everyone within earshot the following day. It just so happens my twin brother was in her class and he heard everything and he told me all about it when they got back. Super.
Athletes Attract All the Babes
Frame of reference: 15 years old / 2nd year in high school
Whoa, she’s talking to me. I feel so conscious wearing this clunky helmet as well as this tight pair of pants which keep my pads nice and snug. Did I put my shoulder pads on right? I don’t look like a total goon, do I?
Wait, she’s saying something to me. What’s she saying? She’s probably interested in me.
Never mind, she’s wanted to know if I knew the whereabouts of someone else. One of the all-star players. It was silly of me to think she even considered me, a bench-warmer, to be anything but some sort of stud detector for the popular jock. Gonna have to walk away and make sure I don’t slip since I’m wearing cleats. Don’t try to make it too obvious I’m looking back in jealousy.
Frame of reference: 21 years old / University
Wow, you’re offering me a sip of your drink. I-Isn’t that an indirect kiss? Your lips touched that straw and now my lips will be touching that straw, right? Holy moly.
I probably shouldn’t have asked you if you knew that was an indirect kiss. You only shrugged and looked at me funny. Now I feel stupid. H-here goes!
…it was pointless for me to worry about this. Any anime character who is anxious about this is actually being silly.
Trying to Not Make a Weak First Impression
Frame of reference: 21 years old / University
You want to introduce me to your friends! This is only the second time I’ve flown out to see you since you live on the other side of the state. It means a lot, doesn’t it? For you to want to do this.
Okay, okay, play it cool.
Oh, you just told me that one of your friend’s boyfriend likes anime. Now the guy you were talking about is looking at me and is probably about to start talking.
Well, time to be outspoken and bold by seizing the initiative. I don’t want to be one of those indecisive wallflowers most rom-com protagonists end up becoming since they can’t decide which love interest to pursue. Except I’m choosing a topic from the start. He who strikes first wins. Let’s go!
W-wait, my mouth is moving while my brain isn’t thinking. WHY am I talking about Sword Art Online?! Well, what I’m saying is fairly agreeable, right? Asuna ended up being a damsel of distress in the second arc, despite being portrayed as an awesome female protagonist in the first arc, which was terrible. Everyone agrees, right?
H-he just sniffed and said he likes Sword Art Online. And then nothing. Awkward pause. He…disagreed? Crap. I definitely should have chosen a less polarizing show to talk about.
Sending Over a Parting Gift
Frame of reference: 23 years old / University
Sephora. You use products from Sephora, right?
That must be the case. You gave me a little bag from Sephora to hold my stuff while I was traveling back from San Jose to my dorm in LA a few months ago.
I’ll give you a little surprise Christmas present, then. 50 USD Sephora giftcard. It’ll be a cool gift to show that I still care but am moving on. A small gesture of thanks. It’s not like the cute pink Nordstorm wallet I bought you the previous year.
I hope you like it.
Oh, you’re calling. Wonder what you want. Maybe you received my present. I’d better ask.
…oh, you can’t accept this gift. You want to pay me back. You insist, actually.
………okay. I get it. You and I really are through, huh? We’re strangers now, people who no longer really know each other. It was a miracle we met and got to know each other in the first place since we live so far apart. And now we’re undoing this unlikely coincidence and making sure it never happened. You said you were happy for us to stay as friends and continue talking, but you’ll eventually stop responding to me. Were you really telling the truth when you said you were happy you met me?
Well, I can read between the lines just fine.
I tell you the e-mail address of my PayPal. No point being stubborn. You reject the gift. You reject me. Best to get it over with.
There you have it. A pretty personal “Top” 5 list, I guess. All true, by the way.
I’m sorry this turned out to be such a “o woe is me” post. I think it was unavoidable, really, given the topic. I’ll try to choose a more upbeat Top 5 topic next time.
Thanks for reading!